It doesn't look like you did.


All of the images featured on this here page here (where?) are known to have not existed at the time of the website whose header this page bears, but since it was all supposed to be on one page to begin with I'm willing to overlook that anachronism. I'm also impressed that I know that word.

pringles.gif 5783 bytes 1-10-01
I found this on some website which was written in Spanish. I went on to uninspiredly edit the picture into several misunderstood message board avatars.

See also: The explanation defying 1997 website.

I wasted much of 2000 and 2001 saying long forgotten things on message boards that no longer exist. Thankfully I came to despise such a temporary medium at just about the same time I stopped dealing exclusively in things that ought to be forgotten. Even if no one looks at my pages once the initial link has been removed, it's nice to know that they could if they wanted to. Back on boards, though, I don't believe I ever had a signature for very long. A signature is something you think is so great that you believe if you end everything you say with it that it will never become tiresome. Especially if it's made up of things which are either not funny out of context or ever. In theory, this sounds bad, but in practice it's actually pleasantly worse. People will transcribe entire seasons of Jake and the Fatman if you let them. For those who aren't fans of enough things, linking to your mediocre website is also an accepted use of the space. I attempted to whore a pre-bimshwel era url a few times, but always felt guilt for it, despite the fact that I 1.) actually updated the website, and 2.) didn't rely on coming soon! pages I had no intention of filling to create the illusion of content. As you can surely see from this page, that wasn't necessary.

And... I told you all of that to eventually arrive at my next point, which is that eventually I found a message board that permitted image signatures.

pogwatch.gif 1-26-01
Those are also bad.

gomos.gif mysterious
This wasn't mine, but it relates to another which was. Be patient! This was someone else's needless signature image (no, not Gomos'). That Person used to talk about Something that was Awful a lot, so I came to assume that the some awful thing either was this or related to this in some way.
For some reason, I hope, I looked into the matter and found out that there was (perhaps still is?) a Chinese website that sells things, furniture among them, which has this curious creature in its page logo.


pogomos.gif 2-2-01
I have a very dull life.

insult.gif 1-31-01
I don't know. I've never seen this before in my [dull] life.

reckon.gif 3-24-01
Before I had two broken scanners, I had one broken scanner, and before that I had no scanners, but after that yet before the that before that that I had one functioning scanner. So.
I scanned this out of Weekly World News. I somehow found this advertisement, for a car fixing school or some such thing as that, more interesting than the wacky, crazy, and just plain zany stories of the new lost dead sea scrolls or how the earth is going to end in 1999, how the earth is going to end in 2000, and how the earth is going to end in 2001.

that.gif 4/20/01
What, I believed, might have happened had Steve Moraff been Japanese and employed by Square in 1993, instead of North American and selling carpet samples. Unfortunately, I couldn't make the highlighting hideous enough and the nes monsters were fundamentally too well drawn for this image to have the desired effects.

More message board moronity:

Someone who used this

once took irk with me for using this,

so I used this instead. I make lots of friends on the internet. (9/16/01, you know)

NOOOOOO.png 11-17-01
I don't remember what ebs.rar is or was

noinvinco 2/12/02

I fear that few may have heeded my grim warning.

3/29/02 (or is it?)
Contrary to my recollection, I did use ICQ for a period. A two minute period. This was the one message I received.

Some dissent arose regarding the letters printed on Ziggy's helmet. Determined to resolve the argument, I took a closer look that few others were willing to risk and came up with this:

FDNY. I hope this information has been helpful.


The evil arrow! The first time I encountered it, I knew no one would believe the story, so I quickly made a visual record of the destined meeting. Also: Don't think I was a nerd because I posted on the DC message board. Think I'm a nerd because I posted on the Mad Magazine message board owned by the same website.

But that was not the end! Unless this was the very day I swore off the wicked AOL browser, I question the authenticity of the claim that this and the previous share a date. The arrow, however, is very real. Also: The only known evidence of e-mail


It was a year before I found it again, for it had moved to a different computer. I realize now that it was fate that the machine should end up in my possession. Also: The arrow is skilled in the arts of both the verticle and the horizontal!


This one attempted to hide behind the window boundary, but I found it!
Our most recent encounter happened also in Paint Shop Pro when I was making my special December 2003 picture, and also monitoring screen captures of deceased clone Zell afflicting SAM08G with mute status. I converted those bmps to pngs eventually.

Although it funtions like a regular sized arrow, it may click itself if it detects the presence of a mouse cursor. It is more aware than you think.
It only shows up when it knows system resources are especially taxed, much like lions often target wounded prey, but thankfully the arrow hunts alone, for in larger numbers I do not believe they could be stopped. Usually the evil arrow lingers for a very short time and escapes as soon as a different window claims focus. A single attempt of mine to "pose" a screen capture resulted in the arrow eluding capture that one time. It was a foolish and decadent error which I long regretted! Arrow was not about to allow me to think it worked for me; Arrow was in control and would not let me forget it. Neither then should you, for now that you have been made aware of its existence, you too are a target! G'fa ha ha ha! You fool! Now you shall suffer as I have! Assuming you haven't been already reading the rest of this page.

Update! Even though as of this time I have not uploaded any of this, I don't feel like rewriting the previous paragraph. Nearly ten months later, while browsing the exact same directory, look who I found waiting!


Oh, evil arrow, dids't thou truly think I wouldn't look twice? I have 60 megabytes of epsxe screen captures I haven't used for anything, so you had to know you would either be discovered or deleted before long. So why? Why did you stay? What...? No! It could never be! Our families have fueded for centuries! We can never be happy together! Let us die in each other's embrace!

Enough of that.

fishpipe.png 5/23/03

Since this was not modified from a scanned image, it would unethical for me to place this in that section. I always make the most morally sound decisions when they don't matter. As you've possibly gathered from this, it was made for some diabolical purpose regarding that Spam Headwound. Even after bimshwel became """"""popular""""* I continued with gigglebounce because other people posted things and would also give comments on what I posted. The rewriting of the remainder of this section has been a powerful foe on the side of the postponement of my finishing this page, so I will say instead this: There is a website with whom I have had many dealings. However, I suspect it would be to the benefit of myself and all others who at points have been involved if the extent of these dealings of mine were reduced. There. That's not so bad. Assuming that it is at all possible for this page to get any worse. The more I think about it while not reading it the less I like it when I am.

Deviating from my usual award acknowledging uninformed political commentary, I wrote some small bit regarding the republican national convention pretending I had confused it with the other conventions I read about on the internet. Since I don't know much about them it wasn't very amusing so I was going to end with a picture of my "con badge" which would be some intentionally tacky thing to complete the deal and additionally draw attention from the text's dullness. However, this happened:

repoglican.png 8/29/04

If it had just been the purple thing with a cigar (yet no mouth) accepting the bag with a dollar sign that would have sufficed, but as usual things went so far as to ruin its ability to convey whatever message I had wanted it to. Sure, I could crop it to show just the necessary and then make the [currently not visible] text smaller, but then that would mean I had wasted all that time (though clearly not as much as in the previous picture) making the other parts which no one would see. Of course, since I'd still show it on this page, that shouldn't have been a problem, but I assure you it would have taken additional steps make itself be.

This does go to an index. But will you?

Annoy me (if you absolutely must)!

I thought I'd have this done in a day.

* I ran out of quotation marks