This is actually in two parts. It would probably make sense to join them, but that would require removing redundant material and filling the gaps with worthwhile content, and if there's something I've never had, it's worthwhile content. Or another picture of Gene Shalit, for that matter. Alright, two things. That is if worthwhile content counts as only one thing. But then, getting up to one doesn't count as counting, does it. So it must be more than one. At least two, then. Right, so there are at least three things I don't have.

Part 1
My initial complaint. A brief, general statement of annoyance.

The part after part 1
A much longer, more specific statement of annoyance.

A bowtie... why am I not surprised?